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Stone's Throw - End of Days

Disappointment about the 12-21-12 thing.

Well, here I sit waiting for the world to end.  I think it’s going to be falling meteors.  It’s the only thing that makes any sense since its 9:24 and nothing yet.  There is still time, so it's likely going to be the meteors.

Figured I would get on the Internet for a final surfing session, and what do I find?  Those idiot Mayans did not account for leap years. What were they thinking?  That’s like 514 missing days. Ceaser must be rolling over in his monument. Didn’t they get the memo? 

Glad I wasn’t waiting around for everything to start happening, which would have been a long day. I had a friend who needed help picking up new furniture,  and I didn’t want to leave a dirty sink or dirty bathroom behind so I had to do  some cleaning. That would be like going to the doctor for a physical exam wearing dirty underwear.  So my last day kinda slipped away unnoticed.

Apparently some math brainiac sat down and figured out that with the missing leap days the new end of days date is 2 September 2013.  To tell the truth I wasn’t all that worried about the end thinking maybe the earth does need a little cleanse and it would be nice to not have to pay bills and worry about fiscal cliffs and all that, but now we have to wait another 9 months?  What a rip.

But wait, its only 9:45, there is still time.  Maybe Julius Ceasar was wrong about this leap year thing.  Maybe that’s why all those guys stabbed him.  It wasn’t because his numbers fell in the polls  it was the leap year decision.  Even his best pal Brutus took a stab at him.  Just think of all the Denarius they lost in taxes when they lost a day.  ‘Sorry, no 29th of February this year’

I’m sure all those people who dug holes in the ground and stored up food are a little miffed, now they have to wait 9 more months, probably sitting in their bunkers right now listening to their ham radios, cursing their luck.  And those folks that ran their credit cards to the limit?  Now they’ll have to go over the limit.  What’ll that do to their credit rating?  That probably leaves a mark on their books of judgment when they get to heaven.  Now they’ll be in the same line as Bernie Madoff,  can’t be good.

But, it is still 12-21-12 which is an awespome number to go out on.  Three sets of three, that total too nine, that’s s magical.  If you gotta’ go that’s a number to go on, but 09-02-13?  What a crappy number.  Bleh!  Besides that my car insurance expires just after 12-21-12  but a month before 09-02 13.  So if the meteors don’t start falling soon, that means I have to decide whether or not to renew my insurance. Just think I could be driving around without insurance, get pulled over, given a ticket and end up in court on the new and improved end of days date, and then who  would clean my house?  It’s a dilemma.

The delay could be helpful,  I am always trying to look for the good in things.  I just realized we won’t hear the meteors coming.  If they are traveling faster than the speed of sound, which I am pretty sure they are they would hit first then make sound.  Not sure I like that.  Doesn’t give me time for the duck and cover routine that’s supposed to work for nuclear bombs.  We were told that back in the day, but a lot of us were a bit skeptical.  Probably cut down on the scaring.  Probably let you  in the Gates faster if you don’t show up all full of blisters.  They’d have to send you to a burn unit and get you all cleaned up first.  That would be like waiting in one of those Disney Q lines at a roller coaster.  Think I’ll but a fire resistant blanket, just in case.

Whew, 10:30, running out of time.  I should listen to one of my CD’S,  but I can’ figure out who to listen to,  probably just put my ipod on shuffle and take my chances.  Nothing like celebrating events with good music and now I’m thinking I should be at a party but I’m so tired after cleanong and moving all day I probably wouldn’t have much fun.

Just took out the trash and got a good last look at the moon.   Made me wonder what will happen to her.  If we get blasted to smithereens what’ll happen?  Probably float off and attach itself to another planet, maybe Mars.  Mars could use another moon.  Didn’t see any meteors though.  My faith in this whole thing is getting a little shaky but still have an hour.  Should probably take a shower and change my underwear, be just  my luck for all the destruction too start at 11:45.

I suppose I should get this posted before it’s too late; be a bummer to miss the deadline.

 

 

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jonathan schork December 23, 2012 at 02:46 PM
I heartily concur: I'm tired of all the hype & expectation. It's worse than a tom cruise movie! I want my apokeeclypse, and I want it NOW!

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